Wow, last night’s roundtable on coping techniques for trauma anniversaries ROCKED! Thanks to all of you who attended. Our fabulous panel shared their own personal journeys, plus what they’ve learned along the way. Not only did we talk about how to deal with specific dates but also what to do if you don’t have a specific date and how you can take back your power either way.
Yesterday I received an email from Sudha, a Post-Partum PTSD blog reader. She expressed to me her own trauma anniversary and how she’s learned to cope and also, the struggles she still has. With her permission, I’m sharing her words with you as the final installment of this whole trauma anniversary topic. In her story you’ll see both sides of the coping situation. If you have thoughts to add in support of her journey, please share them in the comments. When we all join together we are stronger in the PTSD fight than we are alone!
My 4th Anniversary
This is my 4th year and after my first miserable year (which is also my son’s birthday), I learnt to cope with it differently.
1. I educated lot of my friends and relatives about it, so that I don’t get called for his birthday or my anniversary and even if they do — they don’t make it out like its 100% joy as yet, since I had explained to them that it will take time to get there. Thankfully a lot of them respect that.
2. The most important thing I did after the first birthday was to make sure I was occupied along with my son, so for the next 2 consecutive days we went to Disneyland. That place is pure magic — strips you of all thoughts — at least for the hours I was there.
3. I don’t make phone calls to people or try to not answer calls from those who have caused triggers with their insensitive, non-empathetic and non-supportive remarks. That way I can deal with lesser and unwanted triggers better.
4. Having recognized some or quite a few triggers in the first 2 years, I did not undertake any activity that would push me back on my healing path like travel, social visits, too much physical or emotional tasks and any more triggers events. Some examples will be: not watching any triggering movies, episodes or songs, not reading upsetting articles or birth stories to state a few.
5. I also had to ask my spouse to take that day off last year. I learnt it the hard way in the first 2 years.
6. I do not celebrate or throw my son’s party in any way, other than Disneyland with my son and my husband. This year I need to quickly think about a place to go since my son is probably tired of Disneyland — hard to believe that right? 
7. In short — like already mentioned on your blogs, I work around my day to see if I can cause all controllable stressors and known triggers to be either zero or minimum.
But I have to say this — last year (my 3rd anniversary), although the distraction of going to Disneyland worked for that day, attack came a month later and stayed for a week. I also read on a few sites, that it is very possible that can happen. I hope this year is different.
It breaks my heart to not be able to celebrate my son’s birthday like any regular (I choose not to say “normal”) mom can do, but I have accepted that and am not battling it. Nevertheless, I cannot help feel sad, depressed and hurt about it.
by Sudha Anand
The ideas contained in this post solely represent the perspective of the author. To contribute to ‘Survivors Speak’ contact Michele.
Photo acknowledgement
Tags: post partum ptsd, ptsd, Trauma Anniversary, triggers
