PTSD Recovery Tip of the Week: Build Up Your Self-Confidence
Monday, July 9th, 2012 • PTSD Recovery Tips •
Anne is the daughter of very controlling parents. She’s 22, just out of college and healing from a brutal rape and attack at the hands of an abusive boyfriend. Together we’re working to help her release the past and reclaim her present. At the end of a recent session she said, “My inner flame feels so much stronger!”
I love the image of an inner flame. As we discussed it further Anne defined that as the part of herself that feels full of confidence and shines brightly from deep within.
One of the changes I so often see in the trauma survivors I work with is a loss of self-confidence. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Often we hold ourselves responsible for what happened, or that we didn’t prevent what happened, or that we didn’t speak out about it, or that we didn’t handle it in a way that we feel was most appropriate. Whew, the list goes on and on!
Part of recovery means building back that sense of self-confidence, relearning to trust yourself, your ability to take care of yourself, and manage your world and protect your safety. There are specific actions you can take to rebuild your self-confidence. It’s a process that happens slowly. Today, a few ideas that can get you going.
1 – Give yourself small, achievable goals in which you can succeed. The more you build up a track record of success the more you will automatically believe in your ability to accomplish things.
2 – Get in touch with things you do well. Spend more time doing things that make you feel good about your capabilities so that you are often (daily!) in touch with how your actions lead to positive outcomes.
3 – Be helpful to someone else. Sometimes we’re much better at helping others than ourselves; this can be a great place to build up feelings of strength and self-efficacy that can be used for our own benefit later.
The key to (re)building confidence lies in believing that your inner flame actually exists. More than that: It can brightly burn, shine and flicker in ways that help you reclaim your life, your world and mostly importantly, yourself.
I suffer from PTSD, it has gotten worse, and now it is an everyday problem. I use to just have sperts. I have had to quit working and cant even drive. I am only 30. I was out going and loved to work. I now feel like my life is over. It is really hard to have a positive attitude, I am trying so hard but seem to be getting no where, I have been looking into EMDU, but I have no insurance nor a job. I couldnt even work, I was having attacks at work, I have been trying to work on controling them but at times I just cant. What else do I do??
@Rae Rae — It’s tough to overcome PTSD and we certainly do need outside support. Check with your local chapter of National Alliance on Mental Illness for referral to free support groups or other professional help. http://www.nami.org/
@Raerae – Not sure how much this is discussed on the website, but oftentimes Neurofeedback can provide you with somewhat rapid relief of acute symptoms. You may be able to achieve significant reduction in anxiety, nightmares, insomnia, etc, very fast and it is relatively side effect free. It is natural, very unlike medication.