PTSD Recovery Tip: Put In Place Some Boundaries!
Monday, June 25th, 2012 • PTSD Recovery Tips •
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Photo: Danilo Rizutti
After trauma it’s normal to feel so raw that you just don’t have the energy to keep up healthy boundaries. Or maybe your trauma demolished the boundaries you had, or decimated your very perceptions of what boundaries are. In the aftermath of recovery it’s going to be necessary to rebuild them. Some quick tips:
- Decide what kind of boundaries are important to you: friends, family, colleagues, neighbors – physical, mental, emotional
- Recognize how the lack of boundaries is impacting your daily life: do you feel put upon, invaded, used, manipulated, overwhelmed by the actions and behaviors of others?
- Understand how this feeling(s) triggers you and causes you to react: isolation, anger, lashing out, hiding out, escaping
- Imagine how your life would change if you had appropriate boundaries: more serenity, calm, safety, control.
- Plan how to reinstate the boundaries that you desire: what will have to change in order for the boundaries to be installed – i.e. you’ll have to speak up, move out, find strength within, hold the line, demand change (in a nice way, or stronger if that’s what it takes).
Making choices and taking actions are the cornerstones of shifting yourself from powerless to powerful. By taking these steps slowly, gently and one at a time you develop strength and the ability to take care of and protect yourself. With those two qualities on hand you’ll be surprised by how much your healing journey can accomplish.
Hi Michele,
I really like your post about boundaries. I have PTSD and I know that I’ve had a boundary problem for a long time. Lately, as I progress further with my healing, I think I’m getting better with boundaries. However, it can still be hard. Thanks for writing about this important issue.
Angela
@Angela — Great to hear from you. Boundaries are a big problem in many ways. And: one that is easily fixed with attention, choices and actions. You’re right, it can be hard and I think the more we practice it the better we become.
I do not know where I belong. Looking for the right fit for my PTSD. I was diagnosed in February. I ignored until I could not live with it anymore. A drunk driver nearly killed me 4 years ago. My car is my coffin and I am so angry on days that I have doctor appointments but I do not know how to explain my fear. I have had the same doctor for 20+ years and over the last months I have lost 25 pounds and she has not noticed. Stomach hurts so bad I throw up for days before a trip out. How do I get people to hear me, I want help. The smallest noise or touch scares the crap out of me, I feel like a leaf because my insides shake. Forget about sleeping because the freaking nightmares are horrible. I use to be a happy person but now I feel like I am 1 car ride away from never coming back. Feel like I am losing my mind.
@Granny — That’s all very common for trauma and PTSD. The best thing to do would be to begin working with someone trained to help you move forward. There IS hope; you can feel better. Onward toward freedom!
I’ve been suffering from PTSD since the day my father sexually abused me. I was just 3 years old when it started. It was not until recent that I was diagnosed as PTSD, though. Since that day, I lost my mind. He destroyed my perceptions of who I am and what my boundaries are. This experience overwhelmingly defeated the boundaries I had. Everyday, I have pains on my stomach and my palms and feet get sweat because of my fear which was experiences more than 30 years ago. I’ve been feeling very unstable and shaking inside. However, I am happy to have found the fundamental reason (sexual abuse) of all the symptoms I’ve suffered (nightmare, sweat, headache, insomnia etc..) I hope to practice to rebuild boundaries.
@Mami I am so sorry about your horrible experience. It sounds as if you are on the right path to recovery. I know you can do this! Healing usually starts with information. Take a look here: http://healmyptsd.com/treatment This information may help you.