PTSD Recovery Tip: Mourn what’s been lost.
Monday, February 20th, 2012 • PTSD Recovery Tips •
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Trauma takes away important things. The life you knew before, for example. Plus, who you were, and maybe some friends or family. Definitely, trauma hijacks your identity and so you’re left trying to put back together the shatter pieces of who you were — and then figuring out who to become after that.
It’s absolutely natural that you’d need some time to mourn what’s been lost. You may have really liked who you were before. You may have really loved your life. You may feel now like the grief of what and who you have lost is enormously overwhelming — don’t fight it. Grieving is a natural process of PTSD recovery. In fact, many recovery sources site mourning as the second part of recovery (right after establishing safety).
The question is, how will you mourn?
Experts suggest:
1. Recognizing that there is nothing wrong with you. Whatever your feelings are, they’re legitimate.
2. Finding people who will understand.
3. Being honest about how you feel.
4. Developing a ritual or ceremony to commemorate what’s been lost.
As a society we have many grief rituals for when people pass away. What rituals can you develop to mourn your life that has passed away?
This week on YOUR LIFE AFTER TRAUMA:
Join me on Thursday night 7:05-8pm EST.
Having the support of friends and family during recovery makes a big difference. On next week’s show my guests will discuss how that support affected them, and how they communicated their needs to friends and partners. Survivors Dan Rhema and Debbie Schmidt join me.
For more info and to listen live, click here.
Want ideas about how to deal with depression, change, and healing? Want to know how to find treatments that work and proof that your past can be overcome?
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I believe I have lived with some degree of PTSD for several years. I am 46, and have been a paramedic for 20 years.
Two years ago I was exposed to HIV and Hepatitis-C during a very bloody and violent call. My first thought was: You murdered me, you asshole!
I sleep little. I eat alot. I forget what I was saying, or doing often. I am in a stage right now that I am trying meditation, Tai-Chi, and some relaxation techniques. Every single time, I am done in about 10 munites into the process and my brain kicks into overdrive and a million radio station start sounding off in my head. At least, that’s what it feels like.
I see a shrink weekly. I take more medications than I like. I am free of any of the diseases I was exposed to.
I am just trying, currently, to just FEEL the emotions and situations that are CURRENT. As in, ice cream in the park with my grandson, warm sunny day, the light glittering in his hair. It is difficult.
I encourage everyone with PTSD to keep plugging away at their own healing process. Don’t stuff it deeper. Feel your negative as well as positive emotions.
–V
@Valerie — You’ve hit the nail on the head: so much of PTSD recovery is learning to feel in the moment. Sounds like you’ve got yourself organized and focused. There are many alternative treatment techniques that could help: http://healmyptsd.com/treatment/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-treatment-alternative-therapy-options
I read this & am in tears. I have been working on PTSD among other things with a fabulous therapist for years. This past fall, I went through several experiences that need to be mourned. The experiences happened so on top of each other, there was no time to mourn. And now, the experiences have passed, & I feel a bit flattened. I’m looking back on them almost as if I’m staring at a movie, feeling like there are tears to cry, anger to feel…loss…& I feel like I don’t even know how to mourn anymore. I feel all of it so deep under the surface that I don’t feel it, of that makes sense. But your post makes a lot of sense, & I appreciate your writing it.
@Carrie – What you wrote makes perfect sense. A lot of that can be processed through alternative therapies to talk. Have you considered that? Take a look at some options: http://healmyptsd.com/treatment