Messages of Hope for Survivors of Trauma – Part 4
Friday, November 18th, 2011 • PTSD Guest Post: Professional Perspective •
Guest Post by Gabrielle Marie Loomis
In earlier posts, we explored the purpose and nature of Core Trauma Patterns, how they keep us stuck in cycles of symptoms and stress and tools for releasing them. My hope is that you are now clear and confident that true trauma recovery not only exists, but is possible for you. When I speak of true trauma recovery, I am speaking of a way of being in which your traumatic experiences no longer define you – in any way. When you no longer have Core Trauma Patterns operating on a daily basis. When you are able to create purpose out of your experiences and when you have fully connected to your true self which is whole, integrated, happy, joyous and free. When you are no longer surviving, but soaring with the beauty, bliss and love that life has to offer. This may sound impossible to some of you or arrogant to others, but it is a reality that is not only available to you, but waiting for you.
When creating meaning out of traumatic experiences, many people settle with something along the lines of “well everyone has something to deal with in life” or “life is unfair” or “that was my lot in life”. Those are not statements of purpose, those are statements of victimization and disempowerment. Creating purpose means looking into the heart of your traumatic experiences and saying, “something in this was for good. I’m taking something away from this experience that is absolutely essential to my character and my makeup and I wouldn’t have known what that was unless I had experienced this.” Some people even take it a step further and say, “it was essential for me to experience life in this way for my personal evolution. I have embraced the lesson and now all that’s left is deep and profound love and gratitude.”
I understand this might seem an impossible suggestion, but when you completely resolve your Core Trauma Patterns and there’s no effects of the trauma in your life – no physical symptoms – no emotional distress – no shattered dreams or relationships – then all that’s left is the purpose. The purpose that this experience brought you – whether that’s to know God/Spirit/Universe/Infinite Intelligence deeper, or to discover a part of yourself that is deeply creative or to become a fully expressed human being – whatever it is, that’s the purpose. The more you connect and live that purpose on a daily basis, the moreempowered you are. The trauma now becomes merely a vehicle that assisted you in awakening to your life’s purpose.
When you are connected to and living your life’s purpose, you are fully expressing your true self. Your true self is the part of you that has never been hurt, never been abandoned, never felt pain or whatever your experience was. Whether you choose to call it your spirit, soul or highest self, it is your divine essence. That part of you exists, I promise, and the greater your connection to that part of you, the greater your freedom, day in and day out. Make a commitment to yourself to discover and connect to your true self on a daily basis. You will experience life in a way few people do. You will become one of the lucky ones.
My company is Messages of Hope LLC and has a mission of restoring hope to those who have experienced trauma. Today’s message is that as a trauma survivor, you have demonstrated the courage, resiliency and fortitude needed to wake up. Now is the time to wake up from the illusion that you have to be forever affected by your traumatic events. Now is the time to wake up to your true nature and wake up to how powerful you really are.
Tags: hope, Professional Perspective, ptsd, trauma
From the Domestic Abuse page – Topic: “PTSD, Domestic Abuse, and Relationships”
I was first abandoned at age 1 1/2 by my birth mother. I was found in the bottom of a laundry basket, alone in the house. At the time of my discoveries, I was barely clinging to life and completely non-responsive to human touch and I did not cry. I was diagnosed as “Failure to Thrive”, and as an un-bonded child, I became labeled as a “statistic” as an unwanted child. Following 2 years of medical care while residing in a medical clinic, I was adopted by a couple where the father wanted me, but his wife did not and so for 6 years from age 31/2 to age 9 1/2, I was forced to endure starvation, isolation from everyone while locked in a closet every day, i was removed from grade school in 1st grade due to abuse, and was also subjected to ice baths and public humiliation. I involved myself with causes advocation, writing for legislation changes, writing for the healing and comfort of others, and have volunteered in many crisis support groups since the age of 14. I was cautioned by therapists since the age of 10 not to enter into relationships bc according to the know-it-all therapists of the late 70′s and early 80′s, (as a child who never bonded with other human beings and due to prolonged exposure to trauma during my early childhood years), “I WOULD NEVER LEARN TO RECIPROCATE LOVE”, nor would I “BE EMOTIONALLY ABLE TO ACCEPT THE REJECTIONS AND BETRAYALS OR FAILED RELATIONSHIPS”. I was also cautioned against having children, for the same reasons, and including the most ignorant and damaging “advice” of all my years, the belief that bc I was inhumanely tortured as a child, that “I WOULD BECOME THE ABUSER AS AN ADULT”. I’m happy to report that even though at 40, I still have a very long way to go in my life-long healing processes, but just as I defied the odds and predictions as an abandoned infant who was not expected to survive, and defied the odds of those who predicted i would take my own life before reaching adulthood, and still defying those who told me i would never learn to reciprocate love nor would i ever be able to find happiness in a relationship, i did enjoy a 13 yr marriage and out of it, i received my greatest gift in life, my son, who I have raised independently for over 15 years now, and who now, at 19, inspires other teenagers and their dysfunctional parents, by correcting the assumptions and ignorant judgments of those who not unlike the therapists of my years, still believe that it is “NOT POSSIBLE TO BECOME A FRIEND TO YOUR CHILD, BC YOUR DUTIES AS A PARENT WILL CONFLICT WITH THE FRIENDSHIP, AND HINDER YOUR PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES”…(b.s.)..Although i do struggle with PTSD (which symptoms lay dormant for over 20 years before coming on in a debilitating manner) and also Borderline Personality Disorder, (PTSD combined with BPD is rare, and known as a “CO-Morbid” or “Dual” diagnosis and is incredibly tough to correctly identify before the damaging effects of its combined symptoms). My son calls me his “Hero”, and fails to see that this is what he also is to me, and although we are so tightly bonded that we each have friends and family who are envious of the closeness of our relationship, we are admired and inspired by those who follow in our footsteps by empowering themselves and others thru education, learning and teaching the recovery processes as they transition from the role of a victim into that of a Survivor. Watch for my 3 upcoming books, “Failure to Thrive” (my auto-biography), “The Healing Game – Emotional Recovery for the Abused Soul” (self help), and “PTSD with a Side of BPD” (also self help)