PTSD Survivors Speak: Poems by Nicole Beals
Wednesday, May 4th, 2011 • PTSD Guest Post: Survivors Speak •
When she gets a trigger,
the past hurts and pains
flood her mind and body.
the knowing of what and who she is
and what she has come to know
gets pushed aside for the fear,
fear of loosing everything.
The fear sets in it’s claws into her
sometimes so deep it takes everything in her
to pluck them out.
all of the thoughts that come flooding in
all of the pain that it leaves behind.
That trigger starts a chain of emotions in her
some that can’t be stopped
some because she don’t know how to yet.
All she knows is she is sick of hurting
sick of even after getting away from all that hurt her
its all still there waiting, festering in her mind
to take her over.
She has been hurt by his hands and his words
so much day in and day out.
She wants one thing at this time to stay alive.
Doing all she can to keep him at bay, until his
Then she wishes she could just hide.
When he blows she cowards down until
Its all over, to live another day.
She can see what is going on around her
She wants out she want to run, but she fears
That out come.
She wonders will she set him so far off that edge
That this time she will be killed?
She wants to live to find herself not what he has made of her.
She see a way out and she runs never to look back.
Years have passed since that day
Scars have healed
One has not the scars that are not seen
The ones that she has in her.
They hurt her so dearly
Only to hear his harsh and hurtful words
Over and over in her head still at work trying to break her.
Trying to keep her down
Haunting and taunting her into that same fear as though with him.
She just wants it to stop make the words just stop make her head stop.
One thing comes to her mind “the truth shall set u free”
She says one day that will be me….
The ideas contained in this post solely represent the perspective of the author. To contribute to ‘Survivors Speak’ contact Michele.