PTSD Survivors Speak: Tapping in to who you really are

The journeys of so many survivors inspire me. I meet people who are changing their lives, releasing the past, relieving symptoms and moving forward. It’s not usually in a straight line, and it’s never without successes and failures, but I am, daily, inspired by survivors taking back their power and tapping into their authentic selves.

Tanya is that kind of survivor. Taking actions and finding guidance in the places that allow her to be most genuinely herself.

Tapping in to who you really are

Some people are only aware that something within them is not right, and that their reactions stem from that disease within them.PTSD is not only suffered by those in the Armed forces, it affects anyone that has been traumatized on Life’s battlefield.  Essentially, we are all soldiers on Life’s battlefield … that would be the Universal perspective.

God created the Universe, and sent us here to wage a battle within our own selves. Between our heart and mind. Between what we have been conditioned to think, either through our upbringing, or experiences and what we feel in our heart.

It is an imbalance within us, brought on by events in our lives that have caused us stress or trauma.  I discovered something was not right within me, when I thought I had it all, but was not happy.  After some major events in my life, and a near loss of life, I developed PTSD and became someone that really wasn’t me.

It was my wake up call.

I rearranged my whole life. I had to move on from what I knew, because that life was not bringing me what I needed most …

Very little that I was, was what I truly wanted to be. I knew my core, she was an entirely different woman from the one that I was publicly. But when she showed signs of change, people became afraid.  So I marched along on my own searching for my answers to how I was going to bring my core through to my ‘public self’. I undertook spiritual healing, to assist with self blame, and issues of control. I didn’t like to not have control over everything and everyone that was near to me. And, once I let go of that need to control, I realized that the only thing that changed was that I was happier.

I began to rebuild my personality, knowing I was worthy of being the real me, and not of hiding in the cupboard as it were.  I started a program of rebuilding my strength, physically through boxing, martial arts, walking, sauna and spa … I used the jiu jitsu training with my kids, to bond with them, and show them that I was just a big kid too …

About a few months after I separated from my husband. My then 8 year old son noticed something and said, “Mum, you look so happy again” … so he was my guide for my path and whether I was heading in the right direction.

Unfortunately (or some would say fortunately) I lost some friends and family through my struggle to understand myself.  But I am now surrounded by people that like the new me and support me and my objectives.  And even though I lost a number of people from my blood family, in its place I have established my heart family. People that love us for who we are, and not what we do.  Without them, I wouldn’t be so strong, and wouldn’t have progressed so far.

Tanya is the mother of two children, who saw a better life for her children than what she had.  Her children awakened her to the fact that things could be different. Whilst she was a great Mother, she knew she wanted to offer her children more.  She wanted to offer them the World.  And she wanted them to be guided by their heart.

Tanya is a follower of Universal Law, the law that encourages us all to live and love with our heart, and to follow that heart to our ultimate destination. She sees PTSD as a learning for which her spirit came here in this body.  A learning to share with others’ and to walk others’ through.

Says Tanya, “There is nothing in my life that I have gone through, that I wouldn’t use to help others’, it is my role in this life to lead others’ back to their own heart.  As a future Life Coach, I look forward to fulfilling my heart’s journey.”

The ideas contained in this post solely represent the perspective of the author. To contribute to ‘Survivors Speak’ contact Michele.

Tags: jiu jitsu, martial arts, ptsd, rebuilding, symptoms