Making the Shift: Tips for Coping with a Trauma Anniversary

Everyone has his or her own way of getting through trauma. This month we delve into different ways of coping with or reclaiming a trauma anniversary.  Don’t forget to register for the grande finale on August 31st @ 8pm: a live roundtable discussion with both civilian and veteran survivors and professionals all talking about how to cope with and reclaim a trauma anniversary. Register for info here. I hope you’ll join us!

Starting today, members of our Healing Thought of the Day inner circle are receiving one coping/reclaiming tip a day for the next couple of weeks (sign up here). In the meantime, we’ve compiled some statements offered by members of our Heal My PTSD community. I love bringing together a variety of voices, options and perspectives — this way, we all learn to see things in new and unexpected ways. Enjoy!

Tips for coping with a trauma anniversary:

Annmarie H I noticed that about the second week in July of every year I have a lower threshold for stress and feel a bit shaky. Once I recognized that as a pattern that matched my anniversary date, the next time the date rolled around, I got a tattoo. I invested a lot of time designing the artwork and researching various artists. I remember thinking as I was laying on the tattoo table, ‘”This is pain of MY choosing, and I choose to commemorate everything I’ve done to survive.”

Elizabeth D It’s very bittersweet for me because it’s the day my girl was born. She’s three now but I had multiple issues/traumas that lasted two years. Her FOURTH birthday will be my first chronic-pain free birthday, plus I’m doing work on my PTSD.

Elizabeth L It becomes a very difficult thing to do “reclaim” anniversary dates. Coping with them is truly possible for me, however. I have learned over the years to be extra “gentle” to myself on those days. This has not always been easy, as, I have found in some cases, finding others who will acknowledge your feelings, your pain can be difficult enough. Finding others who both acknowledge and are sensitive to the date and its significance to me, are the only people I choose to surround myself with at times like those.

Genie Z. L I learned this from Gabrielle Roth many years ago. She called this technique, “How to remain a virgin…after one or many relationships.” The strategy is that you forgive everyone involved in the trauma or heartbreak or whatever. You may need to do this out loud, in words, and keep on until you really do forgive all involved. Then you begin each relationship or life experience innocent. I have used this many times. It works.

Stephanie P I have many traumas and some i don’t know the anniversary date. But ones that i do, i know that i am going to feel a big heaviness of heart. So i try to do something nice for me and my inner child – and not just buy something i need that i have been putting off, which can be my tendency. No, i learned to do something for Me, that is fun, different from the usual, maybe frivolous, etc. It is a gift to myself for surviving, for having lived through it, for comforting myself.

Nikki A I am a recent survivor and am struggling day to day with ptsd. I haven’t had an anniversary yet but have already taken a step to make it a day to remember my new life and not dwell on my old one. I was rescued on May 19th and have gotten a tattoo of a ribbon representing sexual assault awareness and my rescue date. I see it as the first day of my new life.  Hopefully it helps. I see it as the first day of my new life.

Celebrate with us: Tuesday, August 31st at 8PM

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Tags: ptsd, trauma