PTSD Survivors Speak: When Shame is Part of the Healing Game, revised

Photo: Payton Guerra

All apologies for the previous incarnation of this post. If you subscribe it’s gone live in error! Here’s the real deal….

I met S. when he was struggling to get his healing back on track and we struck up a correspondence. It’s been a real pleasure to watch him evolve over the past year as he

• consciously strives for clarity
• thinks things through
• looks at every angle of the PTSD problem: emotional, physical, psychological
• continues to research in so many areas to educate himself
• continues to try new modalities to further his healing
• never gives up
• knows when to take a healing break and restore his energy

A victim of child abuse S. is tireless in his commitment to making progress and taking back his power. Today’s post is a composite of some of his recent thoughts about shame.

The Role of Shame In Healing PTSD

I particularly like this quote from the Center For Creative growth’s blog about shame:

As we emerge into the 21st century, it has become increasingly clear that a basic root cause of human misery, violence, despair, and conflict is the widespread experience and perpetuation of toxic shame.  Underlying almost all instances and episodes of human conflict — whether on a grand scale as in the warring of nations, or as experienced in the microcosm of the individual dysfunctional family — we see the  devastating effects of toxic shame, that deeply rooted and deeply ingrained sense of being flawed, being bad, being “not enough.” It is this learned sense of being defective that almost all people in our society attempt to escape from, adjust to, ignore, deny, or transform.

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I think we are not really masters of our fate — our  unresolved (childhood) issues will always come to haunt us until we deal with them.  I think there is karma — our past comes to haunt us. There is a great book by David Richo, When the past is the present. It was not until I knew where all my traumas came from that I started healing. I still believe the brain can be rewired but in my case I had to know where my anger, hatred, etc., were coming from. I needed to realease all the negative emotions. Now I am finally on the path of lasting healing.

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I believe forgiveness is the key — but abused people have the tendency on holding onto the past and thinking about the future. We have trouble concentrating on the present. This is where mindfulness comes into play.

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Here is a great book on shame: Letting go of shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Life , by Ronald Potter Efron and Patricia Potter- Efron. I like this one a lot because at the end of each chapter there are exercises. Another good book is by John Bradshaw: Healing the Shame that Binds You. There’s also a very good website for shame and healing here.

Another interesting book is about the trauma release process . David Berceli’s book, The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process, contains tremor exercises which are supposed to enhance the release of trauma. It is based on the fact that trauma is  pent up for life in the body until released.

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I think shame is the root cause of all our problems. Understanding it helped me to explain a lot of my behavior and I feel good about myself now. I realize it was not my fault –  my mind was frozen in time. I am sad how life has played out but my therapy (Men in Healing), reading books, and your blog has helped me.  The healing process is like escaping the karmic prison.

“PTSD Survivors Speak” solely reflects the views of the contributing survivor. Submissions and inquiries may be sent through our contact page.

 (Photo acknowledgement on Flickr.)

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