PTSD Survivors Speak: A View of Healing Process, Part 2
Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 • Guest Post: Survivors Speak •
Last week Marty shared with us a great deal of information about what he’s learned that has helped him progress forward with his PTSD recovery and lessen his symptoms. Today, he continues by showing us his actual routine, plus a few final thoughts about things to consider.
Some of my journey and healing with PTSD, continued
My routine for the next year went like this:
- Meditate for an hour at Zen center
- Exercise, walking up hills around the house
- Read research
- Meditate two more sets during the day
After a year I had improved and was on my way. I have found that the damaged, unlovable soul I always knew as me was just a perfect kid raised by violent, narcissistic parents. I discovered so much about myself I never knew. I could see my good qualities and appreciate so much more of myself. Somehow I became proud of me and what I was. I worried so much less. I learned during meditation I could focus the mind on the things that would benefit me. ( Take a moment to think of how many times intrusive thoughts have spoiled everything for you. These thoughts do not have the best for you in mind.)
I learned that thoughts are not dangerous at all. It is the emotion connected to it in our amygdala. Somewhere along the way I learned to focus my mind on the present. When thoughts come up now wherever I am, it is a simple procedure of observing the thoughts and see if I agree with what the conscious mind has brought forth. You will learn to not trust the conscious mind or the thoughts as even being true. PTSD is illogical. MY little trick was to think of pink elephants. Pink elephant thoughts are as dangerous as our most feared trigger. It is true. Meditation taught me this. I have no respect for thoughts coming forward now. I pick my own thoughts and life.
My path was helped by a faith that what I was doing would help. There are many times when you think you will never heal. You find out that troubled times are the best chance to improve. This is hard to believe at first, I know. Relapses are inevitable. Be confident if you take this path long enough it will change your life permanently.
I could go on or expand on all my positive, learning experiences and Iwould be glad to help anyone or answer any questions. I like to give back and help others. You can reach me at: onepistol@aol.com Good luck.
The opinions expressed in “PTSD Survivors Speak” are solely those of the author. To contribute, contact Michele.
(Photo acknowledgement on Flickr.)
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It was a pleasure to read this article today. After I got out of Viet Nam in 74, I took up Zen Meditation as a regular practice and kept it up for many years. However, in the long-run it did not ultimately resolve my underlying PTSD which became worse as the years went on. It wasn’t until I learned Vivation in 1986 that I was finally able to heal the underlying cause of trauma. I can’t say enough about Vivation and it’s unique power to heal Trauma. It works at the feeling level in the body where trauma is stored, and as such helped me fully integrate and discharge my traumatic experiences.
Although I think Zen meditation is far better than no meditation at all, it’s way too mental for those already displaced from their body through trauma. I’ve since recommended many my friends and others suffering from PTSD to take a Vivation training. All of them, except one have been completely cured of any residual PTSD symptoms. The one who still suffers believes they deserve to suffer for “crimes” they feel they committed during the war, and was simply unwilling to heal, despite having a powerful tool like Vivation to heal it with.
-Lionel
How can I find out more about Vivation? I also am a VietNam vet and have been trying to heal for 30 years. Sounds interesting.
I think you sell mindfulness way short. If you combine it with acceptance it will heal you and more. I looked at the vivation website and it is a high priced glossy type heal all thing.
I would be warry of paying anyone promising things for that much money.
Zen meditation is free and will heal you more than anything found in the last 2500 years. I will use that before I pay someone a thousands dollars for healing.
Healing is a path you have to take on your own and short cuts do not work.
I think it’s important to keep in mind that we each have to find our own way. The purpose of connecting here is to offer what has worked for us, or what we have discovered in terms of research, and understand that each person is entitled to his/her experience and opinion.
Advice, encouragement and inspiration are what we can give each other. Let’s not start judging each other’s paths or suggestions. It’s important for all of us to do our own due diligence and make decisions based on what’s appropriate for our needs. And to stand together for support, discovery, education and learning.
I’m not selling Zen short, I’m only relaying what has worked for me and many, many others who have suffered. I just went to their website too, and I don’t understand how you could think that $595 is a lot of money for taking a 4-day workshop which includes many, many hours of individual coached sessions. How is that high priced? In fact, that’s cheaper than what I paid in ‘86. Secondly, Vivation is not something that cures you in 4 days…that’s ridiculous. Vivation is a SKILL you learn like anything else that you then use for yourself to heal yourself. So I’m not sure what you’re talking about when you say you should heal yourself instead. Uh… Vivation is a tool you use to HEAL YOURSELF. And in 36 years it is by far the most powerful tool I have ever used in self-healing. Vipassana, and Zen don’t even comes close…. sorry, but I’m sticking with what I know to be true for hundreds of people.
I almost forgot… Vivation is all about *mindfulness*… mindfulness of the strongest feelings in your body as they happen. Bringing yourself into your body, as Vivation does, is the most mindful, present-moment gift you can give yourself. And the acceptance of those feeling is exactly how that healing takes place.
If anything you have sold Vivation short by not actually reading the website and seeing what it is… a self-healing technique you do for yourself, using focused feeling-based awareness, breathwork, love, acceptance and integration of suppressed negative feelings and traumas.
Lionel. What would you think if you wrote a paper, first one for a site like this on vivation. You invested your time and energy in helping others and someone like me replied that vivation is no good but Zen meditation really helps.
Why would you not give the writer of his path a chance to help.
Read the The Mindful Brain by Dan Siegel. Siegel, co-director of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Center, blends personal experience with scientific research.
This book details the 2500 old science of the mind actually grows part of the mid prefrontal cortex involved in proceeses such as emotional balance. There is more connection between the halves of the brain in this region also.
This is rooted in neuro science. He also studied monks using fmri technology and found unreal levels of rest when meditating.
I would end in saying that you dismiss my path as foolish and run a commercial for your vivation. Do you think that is proper.
Maybe you should write a paper and wait in line for two months like the rest of us. Maybe someone will tell you that vivation stinks. Maybe not.
I am not debating you on vivation or zen just saying that you should respect my position and paper.
I could defend my postion on Zen but I do not need to convince anyone that it works. And I would never say something cures anyone or everyone I send to vivation or meditation.
Lionel, a question
Are you using the left side of the brain exclusively to heal trauma.
Do you have your eys closed or open during this mindfulness. Are you thinking when you are healing in a conscious state?
Marty-
I am very confused that you think I am dismissing your path altogether. I have a great respect for the Buddhist tradition - whether it’s Zen, Taosist, Tibetan. I’m referring specifically to my my *own* experience. If I’m not mistaken this post was about sharing personal experience. I did that, and since then you’ve come down on me hard, and have put me on the defensive ever since. Since then you have continued to attack both me, my motives and the work I recommend.
In answer to your question, Vivation is entirely right-brained, and has no mental component to it whatsoever. When you are “viving” you are totally in your body, in your body-feeling awareness. The left brain is still there, relaxed, mindful and like being on vacation, while your awareness remains focused on the feelings in your body. In this context then, there is a big difference between mind and awareness.
Cheers,
~L
Sorry if I came down on you.
Lionel what you are describing sounds like meditation. Mindful meditation that is. You use breathing and right brain like mindfulness.
What is the difference? Do you sit like meditation, focus on breath or how does it work/
Lionel
Can you share more details of how you healed. Did you have a therapist on the side or did you heal with the seminar and work by yourself or something different?
Also how long did it take and how much practice or work did you do daily. Did you keep a journal?
Did you have any relapses along the way/
What was most beneficail to healing.
What would you recommend about ones attitude while working on getting better?
thanks Marty
Sorry, One more thought.
I went to a holistic healer who used Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy.
It dealt with the feeling in the body in a similar way.
There is a book by peter Levine Waking the Tiger : Healing Trauma : The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences.
Have you seen this approach.