PTSD Professional Perspective: A Pediatric Surgeon in Iraq

Dr. Chris Coppola is one of those lucky verterans who have returned home whole, intact and without PTSD. But don’t let that fool you into thinking he’s been unaffected by his experiences as a surgeon on Iraq.

Today, he shares with us how writing helped him process what he has seen, and also how he’s giving back to the troops who still serve.

A Pediatric Surgeon in Iraq

I appreciate the opportunity to be a guest blogger on Heal My PTSD, and to the readers with me today, I want to say thank you for your service. If you or someone you love has been affected by PTSD, I hope you are finding your way to peace.

When the opportunity came to write for this blog, I wasn’t sure my opinion would be of much use. I am a pediatric surgeon, and I have no training in psychology or treatment of PTSD. I served as an Air Force surgeon in Iraq, and I describe the experience in my book, “Coppola: A Pediatric Surgeon in Iraq.” The best I can do is give my perspective as a veteran who spent his time over there.

A friend recently asked me if I had PTSD, and I quickly answered her, “no.” I told her that I was fortunate to be one who came home, and I was enjoying life reunited with my family. There are occasional dreams where I wake thinking I am still in my hooch on Anaconda and, until I reach over and feel my wife lying next to me, I’m not 100% positive where I am. Whenever I see a column of smoke rising from a factory in the distance, I can smell the acrid odor of burning plastic and hospital waste as if I were still working downwind from the burn pit. The sound of a helicopter brings to mind thoughts of how quickly I’ll be receiving casualties. But once the moment passes, I take a deep breath and get back to my life. The way I see it, this isn’t PTSD.

It is a great comfort to be back with my family. Now that I’ve separated from the Air Force, I know that I won’t have to be apart from them for a deployment again. However, there are times when I feel like I should be doing more; like the job isn’t done. It makes me all the more appreciative of the young people who are continuing to serve abroad at this very moment. These are young troops, and while most kids their age are hanging out in college or starting new jobs, they have pledged to risk their lives and voluntarily spend time apart from loved ones. We are very lucky they are there for us.

I don’t have any secrets about how to cope with the stresses of expeditionary service. I will say that the whole reason I wrote my book was because I couldn’t sleep during deployments. When we were busy in the hospital with casualties, there wasn’t much time to think. But during the lulls in activity, when I had a chance to relax in my hooch, I found that visions of the terrible injures we had seen would swim before my eyes.  I coped by writing long letters home, and the exercise of putting my experience down on paper would settle my mind, letting me get back to work. 

Once I returned home, I felt like I had gone from helping troops every single day to suddenly doing nothing for them. I decided to compile my letters into a book that could be a benefit for Fisher House http://www.fisherhouse.org where families of injured troops can have a home away from home while their loved ones undergo medical treatment. As I wrote the book, it was sometimes difficult to relive the memories of events during deployment, but it helped me consider the meaning of what I saw and did, and realize it was now a part of my life story.

I know now that I will always carry my deployment with me. It is a part of who I am, and I have found it is easier to just embrace it. I feel fortunate, and not just because I survived. I cherish life with my family more than ever because I had to spend time away from them. I understand now why they call deployment, “The million dollar experience I wouldn’t pay a dime for.”

Dr. Chris Coppola, author of Coppola: A Pediatric Surgeon in Iraq, received his medical degree from The John’s Hopkins University. He trained in surgery at Yale University and conducted his pediatric surgery special training at the Children’s National Medical Center, where he was the first Judson Randolph Fellow. He has served as the consultant to the Surgeon General of the Air Force in Pediatric Surgery and has completed humanitarian missions to Haiti and Brazil. As a Lt. Col. in the U.S. Air Force, Dr. Coppola was deployed twice to Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom, assigned to the 332nd Air Force Theater Hospital in Balad, Iraq.

The views expressed are solely those of the author. To contribute to “Professional Perspective” contact Michele.

Tags: Dr. Chris Coppola, ptsd, veterans