Meandering Michele’s Mind: What do you do best?
Monday, January 25th, 2010 • Uncategorized •
This past week I had a really inspiring conversation with Jerry (pictured right), a Desert Storm vet with combat PTSD. It was part of the Heal My PTSD monthly radio series and let me tell you, Jerry rocked.
Not a victim, Jerry is a victor. He is a vet, and he is just a regular guy. Jerry’s trauma was on a battlefield, but his PTSD journey is the same as any of us who struggle on the healing path. I received lots of mail from civilian survivors who heard Jerry’s story and felt a personal resonance.
Again and again I am inspired by how similar we all are in our PTSD experience. Again and again I am motivated by what we can learn from each other. Although we each feel so individual in our pain we are, in fact, part of an enormous community feeling the same way, grappling with the same issues.
What I find so special about Jerry is his refusal to give in to the PTSD dark. He’s very open about his post-traumatic stress symptoms, and also: completely refuses to let them win. He uses his hobbies of magic, pets, and photography as ways to connect him not only to the present moment but also to a deeper part of himself; one that is not concentrating on trauma but on LIFE.
One of Jerry’s comments during our interview struck a chord in me and I wanted to share it with you. He was talking about how important it is to keep your mind from being idle. Jerry stressed the importance of engaging the mind so that it has less time to dwell on the past. When I asked him how he recommended we do this he simply asked,
What do you do best?
And I thought, “Of course.” What better way to tap back into who we are than through something we already know and feel good and comfortable with?
When we’re trying, post-trauma, to (re)discover who we are NOW — when everything seems new and different – accessing what is known and familiar can be an easy way to find that throughline from the past to the present. Many of you know my story; I did this through dance. It became an enormous part of my recovery.
I’m wondering what you all think about this. In my experience it does make sense to reconnect to what we do best, and bring that into our post-trauma lives as a way to find some stability in during a time we feel the ground shifting beneath our feet.
What’s your take on this? Do you agree, or disagree?
Tags: desert storm, Meandering Michele's Mind, post-traumatic stress, ptsd, symptoms, vet, Veterans healing
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Really great post Michelle. The points about not having an “idle” mind and putting energy into doing what I “do best” are great reminders to be in action and to generate small wins for confidence.
These are great tips for anybody, anytime.
Thanks for posting this. It’s a great reminder.
The last time I was triggered, I decided to skip the rest of my day off, and went back to work. I knew that if I went home or shopping or whatever that I’d obsess about what had triggered me, and work myself up more than I already was. Going back to work was a great solution to the problem. I can’t think about what’s in my head when I’m trying to work through the numbers at work. An hour after I was back to work, the intrusive thoughts were gone. There wasn’t enough space for them to coexist.
@Donna — Fabulous example of how much control we actually can exert over our minds and the PTSD process. Thank you so much for sharing. I love hearing stories like that!
Hi all, Im an Australian Vet, and have been dealing with PTSD for about 10 years. I aggree with Jerry about doing what you do best to keep you in the now and not then. A few years back after I got out of the Army I took up Photography. Something that I had always loved. When I am out there takeing photos it makes me feel like there is nothing wrong with my world, even when i get home and get involved in the downloading and editing it keeps me centred.
Try something that you are passionate about or at least really enjoy doing. It makes the world od diffrence. Well for me anyway.
Craig
My husband has ptsd and our hardest times come when we have a good day. Anytime things are going well and we are happy…this is when the outbursts of anger come…Can anyone with ptsd relate?
@Vienna — Oh, do I SOOO relate! For me, feeling happy caused me to panic. Hypervigilance made me feel safe; when I was feeling happy I wasn’t being vigilant, I wasn’t paying attention to dangers…. whenever I realized this it made me anxious. I had to snap back to my PTSD self immediately! No better way to do that than summon up the energy of fury.
Another aspect: in PTSD many of us are dealing with issues that cause us to have low self-esteem and damaged self-worth. We don’t ‘deserve’ to be happy. The frustrated confusion about this can lead to anger.
I don’t know your husband at all so I can’t really make a recommendation, but this is a generic exercise: When his anger bursts ask him to stop for a second, take a deep breath and tell you what thought/feeling immediately preceded the anger.
Technically, anger is a secondary emotion. If you can get him to become conscious of what precedes the outburst you might begin building a mechanism that allows him to consider his motivation for his anger. It may be the easiest expression for a feeling that he is having trouble with, and not really anger, per se, at the moment.
Understanding the origin of the emotion would help you both figure out ways to ease the emotion without such vehemence.
Let me know how it goes!
Thank you so much MIchele…this is exactly the kind of help I have been searching for…practical! I will try this and let you know how it goes. This is the first breath of fresh air I have had in a long time. Thank you for your explaination. This goes a long way. I will keep you posted