PTSD Survivors Speak: How I Got Over PTSD

Sometimes it’s the raw emotion, story and resolution that shows us just how possible it is to overcome PTSD — and what we can do to make that happen.

Today, a guest post by a guy I met in a PTSD forum. He’s tough, proactive and full of ideas for turning the tables on PTSD. He remains anonymous but tells his story of renewal and hope with clarity, strength and commitment.

How I Got Over PTSD

Background: I was verbally and physically abused until I removed my mother from my life at age 26. When I was being abused I was in the most intense fear and believed I was going to die. When I heard my mom screaming outside of my bedroom door I knew the pain was coming. Since then…

There are a few steps that have been essential in overcoming my PTSD. This is what I have done to recover over the last few years:

1) Initial recognition. Everybody here has already done this step mostly. This included recognition of having PTSD as well as recognizing triggers. Mine were women. Interaction was not a trigger that caused a flashback but usually always caused severe anxiety, even with girlfriends. Loud noises and things being thrown at my face were also triggers but they caused intense panic and fear; even fireworks or basketballs scared me. I played basketball in high school. LOL that was tough!

2) Gaining a support network. I have been able to make friends and stay in better contact with my dad’s side of the family as well as having a very loving step-mom and her entire family. I sent them all many emails when I needed advice. My therapist was key in getting me through this as well. Cognitive behavioral therapy was able to show me things I did not even know I was doing wrong and change my reactions. The PTSD group on www.dailystrength.org can be a huge help too. You may have to pay for support or talk to a dog but find as many beings as you can to help.

3) Taking out the trash. You need a support network first. I took the advice of two therapists, two psychiatrists and my parents and changed my phone number and have not talked to or seen my mother in 5 years — never been better! Do it. Do it, get your abuser out of your life completely. Believe me one voice mail from the attacker can trigger major depression even after years.

4) Changing behavior. Here’s where cognitive behavioral therapy came into play. My reactions to certain things had to be changed through realization of how they were wrong, suggestion and repetition. The most hurtful one was my fear and sometimes resentment of women. One of the steps I had to work on was my initial reaction to a woman; I had to realize they were not going to hurt me or degrade me. By pushing myself I was able to begin to have conversations with women and make small talk. It all started by just smiling and saying “Hi”. Trusting and conversation became easier as time went on. Now I am able to form positive friendly relationships. Some triggers may never go away, like loud noises, but although they frighten me a bit, when they do I can talk myself down because I know my fear is irrational.

5) Moving on, no more anger, no more regret. This was the biggest breakthrough and it happened the other day. I choose to give those bad memories no thought. My parents told me a hundred times “you have to forget about it and let it go.” Easier said than done. Here is a short synopsis of a letter I wrote my parents the day I realized how I could do it:

“To the greatest parents on earth, from the luckiest son alive:

I know that I have failed in the past, I know truthfully at times I have been a loser. Things have not gone right a lot despite trying. I have always looked back longing to relive those days that were stolen. How many days have I slept the day away? How many experiences have I run from?

I have failed in the past to make things better but today something is different, something radical has changed about myself. Today I can choose to be a totally different person for the rest of my life. TODAY I AM NOT, HAVE NEVER BEEN AND WILL NEVER BE A LOSER!

Things happened in the past that I have learned lessons from, but I will forget the bad things that happened and remember the good things. The truth is there have been some good moments in my past and there will be more good and bad moments in the future. I choose to remember and obsess on the good ones. In the future I will make good choices and bad choices, the good choices are the ones I am going to celebrate, the bad choices I will throw to the gutter and not worry.

Today as of right now I am a winner. And because I am a winner nothing and no one is going to stand in my way!”

I followed that letter with a poem professing love for all those who have supported me.

Well, that is all I have to say for now. Good luck! I hope this helps some.

“PTSD Survivors Speak” is a weekly guest post feature. To contribute contact Michele.

(Photo acknowledgement on Flickr.)

Tags: better, changed, cognitive b, cure, ptsd, radical, things to do, triggers