Meandering Michele’s Mind: Mandela, Trauma & Healing
Thursday, December 17th, 2009 • Uncategorized •
Last Sunday night John and I headed out to dance — and then discovered the studio was closed, so we high-tailed it to the movies in time to make a showing of INVICTUS.
For those of you who don’t know the story a quick incapsulation: After almost 30 years in prison Nelson Mandela is elected to the office of the President of South Africa. The film covers his first attempts to unite the country, which he does partially through the cultivation of the South African rugby team.
The film was terrific — but I didn’t resonate with it just for the humanity of a culture. No, what really hit me was how this man, so unjustly imprisoned and ill-treated, could come out into the world lacking hatred and speaking about forgiveness. Rather than seek revenge he risked his own safety by challenging a country to forgive on both sides and find a way to meet in the middle.
I left the movie with this one over-riding thought:
If Nelson Mandela could survive so many unspeakable years in prison — and emerge to forgive his captors — shouldn’t the rest of us be able to find the strength to do the hard work of healing, too?
In the film Mandela explains he found inspiration in the poem, ‘Invictus’ by William Ernst Henley. It’s such a powerful poem I think we should all take a moment to read it today to remind ourselves WE are the source of our own healing. WE decide what hinders our soul. WE choose to bow our heads or shake off the past and carry ourselves with pride into the future.
INVICTUS
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
The bolding is mine. I can’t help it. Those lines are the epitome of what I believe. They are the exact ideas that drove me to heal my PTSD despite all odds, and that challenged me never to give up. Sure, I gave in (more than once) for a period of time but I never to give up.
People and fate do horrible things to us. We have the right to be angry, upset and beleagured but in the end we are the masters of our fate. We are the captains of our soul. We can decide our destiny. We must choose to be, as the title of the poem means in Latin: unconquered.
(Photo acknowledgement on Flickr.)
Tags: forgive, forgiveness, healing, Invictus, Meandering Michele's Mind, Nelson Mandela, ptsd, William Ernst Henley
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I needed this today. I started EMDR last night. I went in ready to battle this thing and I think I fought a pretty good fight for the first round. I left feeling uncertain, but proud. My night was punctuated with triggers and anxiety and followed by a nightmare-filled sleep. I woke up feeling discouraged and unsure. I was grasping for some sort of push or encouragement to continue with my battle plans. I love the entire poem. I think the stanza that stands out the most for me is:
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
I know I am going to have some down times, but I am still ready for battle. I can keep my head up and push on.
I LOVE that poem. Thanks so much for sharing! I’m thinking of writing a piece on self-guided healing, and so much of that is really just deciding to be the master of your fate, acknowledging and respecting your inner light.
These lines were especially poignant for me:
“I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.”
There is nothing more scary and awesome, yet freeing, than the realization of our own self-determination. Thanks, Michele!
@Mindy – I love “I left feeling uncertain but proud” — that so encapsulates so many moments of healing!! Your post-EMDR experience is absolutely normal. (BTW: if that persists, you might try another info processing technique that’s more gentle: Emotional Freedom Technique, or Thought Field Therapy. For info check out this page: http://healmyptsd.com/treatment/information-processing-therapy.) The imagery of being unbowed stuck with me, too.
@ Leslie — Isn’t this great? I had never seen it before. I like having PTSD anthem’s and this is a great one. (I also love John Mayer’s song, ‘In Repair’.) In the words and images of others we find pieces of our own soul. Knowing we’re not alone always gives a little burst of strength, doesn’t it? And a prescription for what to do. Whew, it’s all so exhausting. Good thing there’s a whole community!