Treating PTSD: Fess up to your symptoms!
Monday, October 12th, 2009 • BRIDGE THE GAP Healing Workshop •
Yesterday I posted a great ‘PTSD Professional Perspective’ about the role of denial in stress. Denial is a big topic in PTSD – not one that we talk about but one that pervades a lot of our lives.
Take for example, our traumatic memories: They are destructive and oppressive. We spend a lot of time trying to deny them, pretending they don’t exist, they don’t bother us, denying their right to impact our lives.
And while we do this we know we’re totally unsuccessful. Or, we don’t know, but we’re vaguely aware that something’s just not right with us. For 20 years I knew my behavior was insane in some respects, but if you asked, challenged, suggested or went anywhere near the topic of my actions I would slice you to the bone, push you away and tell you YOU were the one with the problem. I was perfectly fine.
Right.
Today’s BTG Big Question: Are you doing what it takes not to be in denial?
Coming clean with the PTSD situation we’re in is a big, ugly and TOTALLY NECESSARY step in the healing process. In order to accept help it’s critical to say you need it; in order to say you need it it’s critical to recognize why you do.
I raged. I starved. I rarely slept. I was always ready for and expecting another trauma to occur. I put myself in danger. I removed myself from all emotion. I spent a lot of time lost in my head. I felt zero connection to the present. My moods swung. I barely functioned through a thick fog and a deep depression. I kept everyone at arm’s length. I isolated myself. I had thoughts that frightened me.
Whew, that’s a lot to admit! And believe me, I didn’t admit any of it until I crashed and burned so hard there was nothing else to do.
Part of healing, however, was being able to say all of that. Part of healing was ending my denial and fessing up to the truth: My behavior was not normal. The problem was me. The rest of the world was not at fault. I could not heal on my own.
Doing whatever it takes to heal means recognizing all the clues of what’s wrong and agreeing they need to be fixed. Are you doing that?
BRIDGE THE GAP Exercise:
Take a good look at yourself today. Stand in front of a mirror. See who you are.
Sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of the thoughts and behaviors you already know deep down are not right, are troubling, and are hindering your ability to optimally function.
Write down everything you think of. Ask one or two trusted friends what they have noticed about your behavior. Add their responses to the list.
When the list is complete take a long good look at it. Be aware. Be open. Be brave.
When you stop denying who you are you take an important step toward healing.
What has helped you stop denying your PTSD? Leave a comment and share your experience.
(Photo: LabGP & SigOther)
Tags: denial, Doing Whatever It Takes To Heal, healing, ptsd
In the end you keep coming back to the fact that denial sokes up lots of energy. Acceptance proves to be easier in the long run.
Still working on the kinks though!
@Mike – You’re so right — denial takes a lot of energy, but it seemed easier to me. Acceptance took an entirely different kind of energy. Acceptance required the energy of bravery, courage and the ability to live with a different kind of fear: the fear of facing my past so I could get on with my future. So much easier to deny a little while longer considering the other choice!
I think my worst one was just becoming a total hermit. And my memory loss, which meant that once I actually forgot to go to drinks with a friend. Problem was, it was his farewell party before he went overseas for a year! Luckily he understood. I cried at the drop of a hat. I was incredibly needy but also entirely unable to reach out and do anything about it. I was silent. I didn’t tell anyone how bad it really was. I waited, passively, hoping it would all go away.
I know one of my biggest issues still is forcing myself to get “out there” and just meet new people. I probably still have trust issues with men, but I haven’t let anyone close enough to me to really find out!
Right now I’m seemingly I’m 100% clear of flashbacks. But the anxiety/panick attacks still rear up and cause me a lot of physical pain from time to time, but now I have friends (from the blogoshphere as well as real life) I can talk to about that. And that helps.
Definitely, finding other people who understand because they’ve been there… that’s helped enormously with the acceptance of my symtoms and the ability to speak freely about them.
And as Mike says, acceptance is a heck of a lot easier than denial.
My husband is having some problems dealing with PTSD, he seems fine during the day but sleeping is his biggest problem, i decided to get him some sound therapeutic remedies from Prescription Audio this seems to help him fall asleep. but waking up in the middle of the night is another story
@Kris — Thanks for leaving such a proactive comment! It’s always good to share what works. There are effective treatments for eliminating sleeping disturbances altogether. Happy to fill you in. If you’d like more info email me through the Contact page.
@Svasti -Ah, yes, I remember the hermit days well! Because if we don’t see anyone no one can tell us there’s something wrong with us, right? And because it’s just so much easier to deal with what’s going on in my head when no one else is in it.
And then we begin to heal and suddenly, a whole new world opens up. Gotta love that about the net especially.
I think there are stages of denial that we work through along the way. Denial isn’t a single unit issue. It is often a thick and layered shell that we have to chip away at. Sometimes you get through great big chunks and other times it’s just a little at a time. The key is to keep at it.