Treating PTSD: Are you, um, being honest?
Friday, October 16th, 2009 • Uncategorized •
So let’s just say you’re doing what it takes to engage in your healing process. You show up for the sessions, you talk the talk, you walk the walk. You research, educate yourself and try new things. Good for you. What I’m wondering now is how close to the truth you allow yourself to get.
I have a confession to make. As I’ve written before, I went through a load of therapy saying to every one of the doctors and practitioners I worked with, “Heal me!” But deep down inside, I didn’t really want to be healed. I was really invested in my survivor identity. I didn’t want to give it up and I didn’t want to talk about how much I had come to rely on, want, love and desire it.
I could not honestly tell anyone a lot of things about what I felt about PTSD or my trauma. I was embarassed, ashamed and bewildered by many of my thoughts and emotions. I got very good at skimming the surface of therapy and/or not exactly talking about the real issues when the issues got too close to some great fear.
Today’s BTG Big Question: Are you doing what it takes to be honest in your healing?
Needless to say, I lost a lot of time not truthfully addressing what needed to be addressed. It’s tough to be honest. It’s hard and grueling and like baring your naked and shivering self to the world being honest sometimes just feels plain wrong.
No, being honest is not easy. Yes, it is really, really necessary.
If you don’t approach therapy and healing with a determination to be honest in what you’re thinking, feeling, experiencing, hoping, wishing and fearing then you do a disservice to yourself. You cheapen your efforts by not giving yourself the value you deserve.
How honest are you being with yourself and those people trying to help you?
BRIDGE THE GAP Exercise
Think about how you approach healing. Does the idea of healing fill you with the desire to truthfully tell all?
Or do you immediately begin thinking about what and how to hide?
Today, muse about your healing approach and … you know… be HONEST! Are you committed to revealing the truth or hiding the facts?
In what way can you make more of an effort to be honest?
(Photo: eyecaramba)
Tags: Doing Whatever It Takes To Heal, healing, process, ptsd, trauma
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Excellent article! My epiphany on this subject of becoming “addicted” to the angst of trauma came in a group session a few months ago. I remember looking around the group and realizing how many people came in week after week with the exact same stories and problems. I watched as they were given pity and more attention when they were “worse.” It made me take a hard look at myself and franky, I saw myself beginning to circle the same drain. I left that group, found an amazing therapist, and now, well, let’s just say I’m doing a whole lot better than those who continue to circle.
It’s ok to leave the nightmares, flashbacks and stresses behind. Yeah, some people judge you negatively for healing. That’s their problem. They can think what they will.
I still have the occasional flashback, hyper vigillant moments and nightmares, but these days I grab them by the tail, make them face me and I unravel Them. It’s empowering to heal and sure as hell feels better than being a perpetual victim.
Again, great article – even if it’s uncomfortable!
@Ricia — Glad you like the piece! I admire your willingness to consider your own actions, realize you needed a change and take the step to get to where you are today. That’s what recovery is all about!