Treating PTSD: What Do You Want?

When was the last time you sat down and decided what you want? I mean, about anything, and chosen in a pure way, not driven by bad habits, negative thoughts or panic.

When was the last time you made a choice because you had the freedom to choose? Not because you had to cope or manage or just get by but because you had the luxury of time and peace and serenity to say,  I want _______.

Can’t remember? That’s what I thought. PTSD symptoms don’t give you much time to consider options or desires or preferences. The PTSD mindset drives you relentlessly and you react. You do what you need to do without considering if it’s actually what you want to do.

And then there’s the whole idea of what you want metaphorically and metaphysically. In your life, in your work, in your relationships. There are a lot of decisions to be made. How many are you making because you’ve taken the time to sit yourself down, think things through, weigh the options, choose your likes, discard your dislikes, and focus on rewards?

Again, that’s what I thought. It’s time to get back in control of your decision making. Time to take the time to deliberately decide what you really, really want — and then map a strategy to get it.

Today’s post-trauma identity challenge – answer this question: What do I want?

[NOTE: Consider this question from only good, positive, healthy and constructive angles. For example, an answer would not be: I want to get high. But rather, I want to stop this pain.]

When you have a good view of your desires you see a little more clearly who you are. From there it’s easier to make a plan to get from where you are today to where you’d like to be tomorrow.

BRIDGE THE GAP Exercise

You know the drill now….

Find a quiet place where you can relax. Take a deep breath in, hold it at the top, let it out, Whooshhhh. Allow your body to release all tension. Take another deep breath in, slowly, hold it, let it out. And again. Slowly. Go inward. Ride that spiral down from the outside world deeper and deeper and deeper relaxed and into the true you, the you that exists outside of time and history, experience and memory.

Buried deep within you is a pure self waiting for you to come and set it free. With every breath you take you get closer and closer to that heroic self that lies within you.

With every breath you release feel your body loosen and the more loose your body gets the more loose your mind becomes. Your true desires may be buried beneath PTSD, memories and bad experiences. It’s time to free them.

Think about your life. What do you want in it? Allow your imagination to show you images of things you desire. Write down what you see and the ideas and feelings it puts in your mind.

Think about your career. What do you really want to do? Allow your imagination to show you images of yourself in that career you deeply desire. Write down the images that arise and the ideas and feelings it puts in your mind.

Think about your relationships. What are you really seeking in friends, lovers and partners? Ask your imagination to show you a picture of the ideal people for the world you want to inhabit. Write down the images that occur and the qualities, traits and characteristics that present.

When you have spent some very focused time on these images imagine 3 movie screens in your mind. Take a picture of each image that provokes in you the strongest feeling of desire: one personal, one professional and one relationship oriented. Put one image on each of the movie screens. Stand back and see all 3 screens.

Now, focus on each image. Turn up the brightness and adjust the focus on the pictures so you can clearly see them. Take some steps forward so you are up close to each image. Stare at each one for 15 seconds. Feel the feelings these images bring up. They’re good, aren’t they? Increase the feeling ten times, and then twenty times. Let it swell up to envelop your entire body. Put your hand on your heart and say, This can be.

It’s time to come back to the present moment. Reverse the spiral and move back up through yourself toward the moment you’re in. Bring these feelings and images of what you want with you.

Slowly feel your attention come back to the room. Hear the sounds outside of it. Feel the furniture you’re in or on. Feel the fabric of your clothes. Feel the desires hiding inside of you.

Now, open your eyes and set about attaining these things. Look at  your lists, devise a strategy. Take that first action, small as it may be.

(Photo: Homayun!)

Tags: Constructing Post-Trauma Identity, cope, manage, ptsd, symptoms, want